When my merely 4 month relationship ended, a few people asked me “But did you even love him?”
My entire life I struggled to know what love was. I was such a snot-nosed kid with a huge attitude that kindness and love were the last things on my mind. I couldn’t even call myself a nice girl.
In high school I remember trying to pin point what love was. I had questions like “does everyone have a soulmate”, “how do you know when you love someone”. Questions that everyone asks at some point in their lives. It wasn’t until the last 2 years of college that I really started looking for answers.
I started meeting people that had different religious views but had more love to give than I was used to. I mean, I met selfless people who were always striving to show compassion to everyone they met. It’s true what they say, you are who you surround yourself with because my heart slowly began to change. All I started to focus on is opening my heart and loving humanity at its core. I was tired of hating people and having hate consume my heart. It was such a dark moment for me and I was growing weak from it.
I recently learned that there are 3 different forms of “love” in the Greek language: eros, philia, and agape.
-the romantic love that you feel for a special someone. It is a type of aesthetic love. You experience this love when you find someone attractive to you and you pour out all of your like and love on that individual. This is the love that is written about and that we hear about in movies.
-the brotherly form of love. It is frequently associated with a deep, abiding friendship. For this love, you like a person because that person likes you. You love because you are loved. You can communicate with a person, have things in common, and you enjoy spending time together.
-Last but certainly not least, agape is the highest level of love, more than eros and more than philia. It is the purest form of love. This love is the most self-sacrificing love that was displayed on the cross by Jesus. Rarely is this love associated with the way a human loves. Although this is a God-type of love, this is how He calls us to love.
We must love our neighbors as we love ourselves and without conditions. We must love our enemies. 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 was not just written for romantic relationships. This is God spelling out a tiny portion of His love, agape, that we must have for all people.
Love gives and doesn’t take. It is patient and selfless. Love never ends.
So did I even love him?
I loved him.
If he ever reads this he might probably think “wow she’s crazy.”
But no, I wasn’t in love with him. I loved him as a person before he was my boyfriend, I loved him during and I still love him. A man who was once my best friend and gave me nothing but good memories, I have love for him & want good for him. The relationship may have ended but my love for him never will because love never ends.
This is the beginning of my journey of God’s calling- agape, love unconditionally.